Newsletter

Welcome to the Newsletter for ChangeWorks Life Coaching  
Unlike the Lilly and the Rose, It is the mighty Sunflower that
will not be pressed.

If you feel this newsletter would be helpful someone else, feel
free to pass it on.

March 2006 Issue

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A Note from Maureen

March is finally here and spring is not far off! We've had some
mild days here in Virginia and I hope winter won't carry on for
too long. It's always hard to wait for spring.

Thank you for those who joined me for my first telegathering on
Perfectionism. This month's newsletter will focus on the internal
barrier of of what is commonly called "The Imposter Syndrome. I
will hold a monthly telegathering on this subject March 13th at
8:30 pm Est until 9:30 Est. This telegathering is free and all
are welcome!

The Life Coaching Corner will address the importance of having
your home reflect the true essence of you. Just putting a little
extra spin on the concept of spring cleaning!

I hope you enjoy this month's newsletter.

Click here to find out more about the Imposter Syndrome: <A HREF="http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com">http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com</A>

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What's new- GirlWorks! Group Therapy for school age and
adolescent girls

GirlWorks is a group therapy program that I am developing for
school age and adolescent girls. The mission of GirlWorks is to
offer girls a place where they can explore their feelings,
thoughts, actions, values and choices in a safe and nurturing
environment. At GirlWorks, we support independent thinking,
creative expression of feelings, and work toward promoting a
sense of empowerment in the lives of girls.

For more information on GirlWorks, please contact me at contact
me at 703-626-0381 or e-mail me at mfchangeworks@aol.com. I am in
the process of getting this information on my website at
www.ChangeWrks.net. Most insurance will be accepted.

Click here to find out more about GirlWorks: <A HREF="http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://www.ChangeWrks.net">http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://www.ChangeWrks.net</A>

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Monthly Telegathering- Overcoming the Imposter Syndrome

Explore how the imposter syndrome might be holding you back from
your life's dreams and ambitions.

Cost: Free

Time: 3/13/06 8:30 pm EST to 9:30 pm EST

Register by sending an e-mail to mfchangeworks@aol.com

Hope to see you there!

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Shattering The Glass Ceiling Within- The focus of this section is
to assist women in shattering their self imposed limitations in
order to create a life that fulfills their ultimate potential.

The Barriers within- The Imposter Syndrome

"I can't believe I was hired for this position. I just hope
I can fulfill everyone's expectations because I don't really
belong here. I don't even know why I was hired. I just look
good on paper. If they knew the true me, I would be fired on
the spot". - Victim of the imposter syndrome

Does this internal dialog feel familiar? Do you live in
fear of being found out? Many women, despite evidence to
the contrary, are not able to internalize a sense of
their own competence or success. Victims of the imposter
syndrome attribute their success to external forces such
as luck, charm, personal connections, help from others
and even computer error.

The imposter syndrome was first coined in 1978 by psychology
professor Pauline Rose Clance and psychotherapist Suzanne Imes
in their paper "The Imposter Phenomenon among High Achieving
Women". Most people have experienced feelings of "phoniness" at
some point in their lives and are able to feel more legitimate
over time after gaining more experience. However, many people
spend their entire lives feeling like a fraud and living with
the feeling that they are fooling everyone. This fear of not
wanting to be found out can lead to a life of missed
opportunities. It can literally prevent you from stepping into
the light of your own life.

The internal dialog above demonstrates the effects of the
imposter syndrome. The victim does not recognize her resume as a
true representation of her achievements. It is a piece of paper
separate from herself and does not show the "real her". Women who
feel like imposters are not imposters at all; they just feel like
imposters. Fraudulent feelings are complicated and can come from
a variety of places such as family dynamics, messages from
childhood, and cultural environments.

Women are particularly susceptible to the impost syndrome since
they are given mixed messages about how to interpret their own
success and achievement. Women are still held to the defined sex
role of the "nurturing female". This is not necessarily
problematic in itself, but being the nurturing female does not
always allow for behaviors more attributed to the successful
male. A high achieving male is expected to acknowledge his own
achievements and is given full credit for his accomplishments.
Women behaving in this way are often seen as abrasive and
unfeminine. There is often a considerable double standard
regarding how a successful woman is to behave and how a
successful man is to behave.

It's painful to go through your life feeling fraudulent and
internalizing your accomplishments. If you feel the imposter
syndrome is interfering with your ability to move forward in your
life, seek a therapist or a life coach to explore this issue. The
imposter syndrome is not a fact, it is a distortion of your
abilities.

ACTION PLAN

1. Explore the areas in your life where you feel like a fake
or a fraud.
2. Have you ever avoided an opportunity for fear of being
found out? If so, take some time to explore your fears
and the evidence for these fears. You will most likely
realize that there is no evidence to support these
fraudulent feelings.
3. Make a list of all your accomplishments and explore where
you giving credit to something external to yourself.
Remember that you succeeded because of your ability and
not because of some other external factor.

FREE TELECLASS- I will be offering a free life coaching gathering
on the topic of The Imposter Syndrome Monday, March 13th at 8:30
PM- 9:15 PM Est. If you frequently feel like your a fraud in your
own life, please join me by sending an e-mail to
mfchangeworks@aol.com stating you want to be on the call. I will
send you the bridge number and access code. Long distance charges
will apply.

Click here and visit my blog to find out more about the Imposter Syndrome: <A HREF="http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://www.changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com">http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://www.changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com</A>

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Quote of the Month

"Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the
eye of the beholder. "Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle
(1969), chapter 1

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Coaching topic of The Month- The True Essence of You.

March is here and spring is only a few weeks away. Many
publications use their spring issue as a time to talk about the
proverbial spring cleaning. Soon it will be time to open the
windows and sweep out the dust of the winter. It can also be a
time of rediscovery and renewal. Spring is a time to reconnect
with ourselves and awaken from hibernation.

In keeping with the tone of the imposter syndrome, does your own
home feel fraudulent to you? I think many of us feel that our
homes do not reflect our true essence; however I may be speaking
just for myself. I know my home frequently does not reflect how I
feel about myself and the world around me. For example, this
morning my home reflected the morning rush of trying to get out
the door with two children wanting stay home rather then spend
the day at school. I know when I come home tonight I will see
cereal bowels in the sink and crumbs on the counter I was too
busey to sweep up. This sight will give me a strong feeling of
"this is not me!"

It's important to have something in your home that reflects of
the essence of you - the real you and not the cluttered, rushed
overwhelmed you that is so often reflected back to us in our
daily life. It doesn't have to be anything dramatic or expensive.
It can be a simple sculpture, or work on art. It could be a
child's painting or a gift from a friend. Just find something
that will give you a reminder of your inner self and the true
essence of you.

ACTION PLAN-

1. Pick a spot in your home (i.e., a room, shelf, corner,) that
can reflect who you are inside. Let it be a positive reminder to
you that you are a worthwhile and valuable person. It's a great
mood elevator on those days when your home does not reflect your
true essence.

Happy Spring Cleaning!!!

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Additional Quotes

"People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,'
and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is
realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find
beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including
inside ourselves. " Salma Hayek

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Psychotherapy & Life Coaching Services

For more information about ChangeWorks Psychotherapy & Life
Coaching Services, LLC. Please visit our website at
www.ChangeWrks.net



ChangeWorks Psychotherapy & Life Coaching Services 9315 Center Street Suite 204 Manassas, VA. 20110 Phone: (703)626-0381 E-Mail Changeworks@braemarnet.com