Newsletter

Welcome to the Newsletter for ChangeWorks Life Coaching 

August 2006

There is the pain of changing or the pain of not changing...It's up to you

Written by: Maureen Fannin, LCSW

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A Note from Maureen

Hello Everyone:

I cannot believe summer is coming to a close! I hope
everyone had a great summer and that you took some time
to relax. At least the hot weather will be ending and we
have the cooler days of fall ahead of us.

This month's newsletter will be focusing on the gift of trusting
yourself. It is important to believe in your own abilities and
trust the power of your own intuition.

I hope you enjoy this issue. I will see you next time.

http://changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com

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What's new- GirlWorks! Group Therapy for school age and
adolescent girls

GirlWorks groups are now forming for the fall. We have a group
runing on saturday mornings from 11:00 to 12:15 for the
elementary school age girls. There will be other groups forming
forthis age group.

I am now forming a group for middle school age girls. This group
will focus on self esteem, coping with peers and relational
aggression. This is often a very difficult time for girls and a
group is a great way to receive emotional support and a safe
place to work through these issues.

For more information call:

Maureen Fannin, LCSW
(703) 626-0381

The mission of GirlWorks is to offer girls a place where they can
explore their feelings, thoughts, actions, values and choices in
a safe and nurturing environment. At GirlWorks, we support
independent thinking, creative expression of feelings, and work
toward promoting a sense of empowerment in the lives of girls.

For more information on GirlWorks, please contact me at contact
me at 703-626-0381 or e-mail me at mfchangeworks@aol.com. I am in
the process of getting this information on my website at
www.ChangeWrks.net. Most insurance will be accepted.

Click here to find out more about GirlWorks: http://www.ChangeWrks.net

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GirlWorks- Focusing on Strengths

Many of your daughters will be entering a new chapter in their
lives this coming fall. Some may begin middle school or high
school and others might be starting a brand new school. Whatever
challenges your daughter is facing this coming school year
stress will most likely play a role. Helping your daughter
manage her stress is not always as easy task. She may resist
help or say that nothing is bothering her when all the signs of
stress are there.

It might be helpful to set some positive goals for the new school
year before the year begins. This way you will already have
something in place.

One way to help your daughter cope with stress is to develop
positive goals for the year. In order to ensure your daughter
gets the positive message define the goals around your daughter's
positive strengths. For example, if your daughter has leadership
qualities, help her find ways to strengthen them during the
school year.

Using this concept can also help benefit those problem areas.
Identifying a positive trait that will assist your daughter
through her problem areas will help build confidence. For
example, a child may have difficulty turning in homework
assignments, but she believes in trying hard and improving
herself. You can reassure her that these positive traits will
help her work through her trouble spots.

Let your daughter know that you have confidence in her strengths
and abilities. This will help her learn to trust herself.

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Shattering The Glass Ceiling Within- The focus of this section is
to assist women in shattering their self imposed limitations in
order to create a life that fulfills their ultimate potential.

The Barriers within- The Dangers of Doubting Yourself

Life is hard enough but not having faith in yourself is a
significant barrier to living a happy and peaceful life. The
belief and trust in our own thoughts and feelings are what
anchors our ship. Without this anchor, we are alone in the
open ocean subject to the mercy of its currents.

Not trusting your own competence often comes from a faulty self-
concept based on inaccurate and limiting beliefs. The roots of
these limiting beliefs are usually complex and vary from woman to
woman, but each negative belief has a defining moment.

These moments can come from a devastating experience or in a
flash based on a comment from a parent or another regarded
person. It is important to remember that whatever you tell
yourself, the mind accepts. Learning to trust your own judgments,
opinions and feelings is a terrifying process especially if you
are used to deferring to others for advice or reassurance.

Nevertheless, fear and anxiety are a natural part of the change
process. There needs to be an internal shift in thinking from
"what if I make a mistake" to" I am responsible for my life." The
reward is that personal responsibility creates self-esteem and
inner strength.

In order to gain confidence, a woman must be willing to risk
making a mistake. Ironically, mistakes women make are more likely
the result of not listening to their inner voice rather then
taking the advice of others.

Action Item:

Take this opportunity to explore your own defining moments that
might have created some of your self-limiting beliefs. In other
words, when did you start doubting your own abilities? Dr. Phil's
book Self Matters has a great section on defining moments if
you're having difficulty answering this question.

1.One way to explore your own limiting beliefs is to answer these
simple questions.

A.I could never _________________

B.State a belief that stops you from taking on a new challenge

C. Write down the negative self-talk that goes along with
this belief.

Good Luck!
http://www.changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com
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Quote of the Month

"When I'm trusting and being myself... everything in my life
reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously."-
Shakti Gawain

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Coaching topic of The Month- There Are No Simple Answers

Overcoming self-limiting beliefs begins with exploring the
relationship that you have within yourself. Many of us have a
strong inner critic that makes having a positive self-image
difficult.

The inner critic tends to exaggerate, and distort reality.

A good way to explore how your inner critic is affecting your self-
esteem is to record self-talk. The simplest way to do this is
through daily journaling. Just spend some time at the end of the
day writing down your thoughts about the day. This is often when
your inner critic is at its strongest. Then make a list of what
you actually accomplished during the day.

Now compare your self-talk with what you accomplished. How fair
are you being to yourself? Are your feelings about the day
congruent with what you actually accomplished? In other words,
how accurate is your inner critic. Many times, we spend so much
time focusing on the negative that the positive is ignored or
discounted.

Action Item:

1.Make a list everyday of your accomplishments and learn to
replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.

For example: "I didn't do a thing that I was supposed to do
today." Negative self-talk

" I will feel good about what I have accomplished rather then
what I haven't accomplished." Positive self talk

Note: I bet you will sleep better too after doing this exercise.

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Additional Quotes

"The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go
down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't
matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark."-
Barbara Hall, Northern Exposure, Rosebud, 1993

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Psychotherapy & Life Coaching Services

For more information about ChangeWorks Psychotherapy & Life
Coaching Services, LLC. Please visit our website at
www.ChangeWrks.net

Maureen Fannin, LCSW



ChangeWorks Psychotherapy & Life Coaching Services 9315 Center Street Suite 204 Manassas, VA. 20110 Phone: (703)626-0381 E-Mail Changeworks@braemarnet.com