Newsletter

Welcome to the Newsletter for ChangeWorks Life Coaching 
Unlike the Lily and the Rose, It is the mighty Sunflower that
will not be pressed.

Feel free to pass this newsletter on to someone who might
benefit.

April 2006 Issue.

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A Note from Maureen

I apologize for getting my newsletter out late this month.
April is a busy month and tax preparation has taken up most of
my free time.

I finally have my GirlWorks brochure up on my website so you can
access more information about the groups at www.ChangeWrks.net.
There is some interest in the 9-11 age group and the 13-15 age
group but I want to have a least four girls for each group. So,
if you know a girl that could benefit, please pass on this
information. I also have some great new resources for the groups
and I would love to get started!

I've had an interesting opportunity to stretch beyond my own
comfort zone by being a call in guest on the Irene Guttman radio
show which is out of Rockland County New York. I survived and we
had a great conversion about shattering those inner barriers to
change. It's a real boost to your self esteem when you push
beyond your comfort zone!

The Shattering The Glass Ceiling Within section this month is
about the disease to please and it's affect on living an
authentic life.

The Life Coaching Corner will a key component to a successful
change process.

I hope you enjoy this month's newsletter.

: <A HREF="http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com">http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com</A>

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What's new- GirlWorks! Group Therapy for school age and
adolescent girls

GirlWorks is a group therapy program that I am developing for
school age and adolescent girls. The mission of GirlWorks is to
offer girls a place where they can explore their feelings,
thoughts, actions, values and choices in a safe and nurturing
environment. At GirlWorks, we support independent thinking,
creative expression of feelings, and work toward promoting a
sense of empowerment in the lives of girls.

For more information on GirlWorks, please contact me at contact
me at 703-626-0381 or e-mail me at mfchangeworks@aol.com. I am in
the process of getting this information on my website at
www.ChangeWrks.net. Most insurance will be accepted.

Click here to find out more about GirlWorks: <A HREF="http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://www.ChangeWrks.net">http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://www.ChangeWrks.net</A>

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Free Monthly Telegathering- Overcoming the Disease to Please

Explore how the Disease to Please might be holding you back from
your life's dreams and ambitions.

Cost: Free

Time: 5/01/06 11:30 AM to 12:30 PM EST

Register by sending an e-mail to mfchangeworks@aol.com

Hope to see you there!

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Shattering The Glass Ceiling Within- The focus of this section is
to assist women in shattering their self imposed limitations in
order to create a life that fulfills their ultimate potential.

The Barriers within- The Disease to Please

If I had to put one internal barrier at the top of the list, chronic people pleasing would certainly be a top contender.Chronic people pleasing creates a thick layer of glass which hangs over the heads of many women. The desire to please interferes with your living an authentic life for fear of hurting and disappointing others. This disease to please, or its close cousin of needing approval seems to lie in the collective unconscious of the female gender in a profound
and pervasive way.

Women spend their lives in bad marriages, unfulfilling jobs, and toxic relationships and give up their truest passions in order to avoid the painful act of disappointing or hurting others. It's often difficult for women to know when being caring and understanding becomes co-dependency and a toxic need for approval.

In order to answer this question, it's important to tune inward
and explore how you're predominately feeling in your relationship
with others. Positive relationships and situations should add
energy to your life and not drain you of your life force.
Relationships and partnerships of any kind go through periods of
hardship, but if it feels predominately hard, this is something
to pay attention too. All too often, women ignore those subtle
warnings and red flags that give cause to leave destructive
situations.

It's not that wanting to make others happy is "bad" but this need
to please must be mutual and not directed one way. Your own self
care must be a priority along with meeting the needs of those
around you. I remember watching Oprah a few years ago when Cheryl
Richardson a well known life coach and author was a guest. She
writes about the importance of extreme self care and that a
woman's self care should be her main priority.

The audience was in an uproar because they felt that the needs
of their children should be considered before their own. Extreme
self care was viewed as being selfish and neglecting of their
children. They were so uncomfortable with Cheryl Richardson's
message of self care they literally booed her on stage.

Women often feel an uncomfortable pull between meeting personal
needs and the needs of others. The oxygen analogy is often cited
when trying to explain the importance of extreme self care. The
airlines always stress the importance of putting your own oxygen
mask on before assisting dependents. Your dependents cannot be
helped if you are passed out from lack of oxygen. Caretaking and
nurturing takes a great deal of energy. You need to fill your own
tank from time to time.

The inability to say No is the greatest of energy drains. Your gut is firing off signals that saying yes to one more task or letting one more bad behavior slide will lead to serious personal consequences. Many women who spend the majority of their lives trying to please and
appease have intense feelings of depression and anxiety. Their self esteem may suffer since on some level they know their behavior is self defeating and destructive. There is a great book written by Harriet Braker who wrote "The Disease to Please." You can order this book on my
website at www.ChangeWrks.net or through Amazon.com.

Action Challenge:

1.Make a list of your relationships and identify those
relationships that fuel you and those that drain you.

2.Decide where you can establish personal boundaries for those
that are draining you.

3.Make a list of where you are neglecting yourself and schedule
times where you can focus on refueling.

Click here to read the ten commandments of people pleasing: <A HREF="http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://www.changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com">http://www.mailermailer.com/rd?http://www.changeworksempowermentblog.blogspot.com</A>

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Quote of the Month

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to
try to please everyone."
- Bill Cosby

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Coaching topic of The Month- Spring Training

There is a great deal of focus on getting in shape this time
of year. It's not only getting into physical shape that we
aspire to but also getting into organizational shape. We start
looking around our homes noticing the "crud and clutter" that
has accumulated over the winter. I am looking to accomplish
both this year. It's time for some spring training and some
spring cleaning.

Whether you are planning your exercise routine or your
cleaning schedule there is one requirement that is
needed for both regiments. You have to be willing to be
uncomfortable. I have to admit that I'm not very good
at being uncomfortable. Intellectually, I know that
making changes requires a certain amount of pain, but
only recently have I begun to truly grasp this very
basic concept.

About every month I make a plan to get up earlier I like
the idea of rising at the break of dawn to practice yoga
or get a head start on my running schedule. Every month I
make this goal and every month I fail to follow through.
I think that all those years of staying up late studying
have turned me into a night owl. I'm not a morning
person. I never just jump out of bed.

Last week I asked myself "why do you continuously set this goal
for yourself and not follow through?" The answer came back as;
"You don't want to be uncomfortable." It is physically
uncomfortable for me to drag myself out of bed early in the
morning. My body and mind feel sluggish and the desire to roll
back over is overwhelming. I don't want to feel the pain. It's
much easier for me to exercise in the evening when my body is
fully awake and less fatigued.

You might say "well, what difference does it make when you
exercise?" Exercising in the morning has many advantages. You
jump start your metabolism and get it out of the way early. Many
times I get overcome by events and never get to my exercise
regime when I wait till later in the day.

What I need to struggle with is my resistance to being
uncomfortable. Are you struggling with not wanting to be
uncomfortable? Is your unwillingness to be uncomfortable getting
in the way of making positive changes in your life? Getting
comfortable with the pain of change is a necessary part of making
progress. Usually, the pain in short lived and it gets easier.
Pain and change always go together. There is the pain of changing
or the pain of not changing…It's up to you…and me!

Action Challenge:

1. Identify areas in your life where you are struggling to make
changes. Create a plan to cope with the painful parts of your
change process. This might include taking small manageable
steps or creating an environment that helps to manage the
difficult parts. Use your imagination.

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Additional Quotes

I run because it's my passion, and not just a sport. Every time I
walk out the door, I know why I'm going where I'm going and I'm
already focused on that special place where I find my peace and
solitude. Running, to me, is more than just a physical
exercise... it's a consistent reward for victory! -Sasha Azevedo

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Psychotherapy & Life Coaching Services

For more information about ChangeWorks Psychotherapy & Life
Coaching Services, LLC. Please visit our website at
www.ChangeWrks.net

ChangeWorks Psychotherapy & Life Coaching Services 9315 Center Street Suite 204 Manassas, VA. 20110 Phone: (703)626-0381 E-Mail Changeworks@braemarnet.com